Hello Brandy - I just came in to say hi. Tomorrow is the last working day for the week but as lots of others have called in sick I need to bail out early today. I pwomise to be in on the pub-action at the weekend. For now it'll be headbutting my pillow. All y'all good people: - - - Gals, guys 'n 'menschen'. See y'all down the road. I love {y’all) Really!
BWB: If you are not familiar with the Prohibition-era archy & mehitabel item, "archy inteviews a pharaoh," you should be. In that, archy the cockroach interviews one of the mummies in the Met, who is dreaming of beer. It is utterly hilarious.
A Minnesota man has pleaded guilty to driving his motorized La-Z-Boy chair while drunk. A criminal complaint says 62-year-old Dennis LeRoy Anderson told police he left a bar in the northern Minnesota town of Proctor on his chair after drinking eight or nine beers.
Prosecutors say Anderson's blood alcohol content was 0.29, more than three times the legal limit, when he crashed into a parked vehicle in August 2008. He was not seriously injured.
Police said the chair was powered by a converted lawnmower and had a stereo and cup holders.
boss i went and interviewed the mummy of the egyptian pharaoh in the metropolitan museum as you bade me to do
what ho my regal leatherface says i
greetings little scatter footed scarab says he
kingly has been says i what was your ambition when you had any
insignificant and journalistic insect says the royal crackling in my tender prime i was too dignified to have anything as vulgar as ambition the ra ra boys in the seti set were too haughty to be ambitious we used to spend our time feeding the ibises and ordering pyramids sent home to try on but if i had my life to live over again i would give dignity the regal razz and hire myself out to work in a brewery
old tan and tarry says i i detect in your speech the overtones of melancholy
yes i am sad says the majestic mackerel i am as sad as the song of a soudanese jackal who is wailing for the blood red moon he cannot reach and rip
on what are you brooding with such a wistful wishfulness there in the silences confide in me my perial pretzel says i
i brood on beer my scampering whiffle snoot on beer says he
my sympathies are with your royal dryness says i
my little pest says he you must be respectful in the presence of a mighty desolation little archy forty centuries of thirst look down upon you
oh by isis and by osiris says the princely raisin and by pish and phthush and phthah by the sacred book perembru and all the gods that rule from the upper cataract of the nile to the delta of the duodenum i am dry i am as dry as the next morning mouth of a dissipated desert as dry as the hoofs of the camels of timbuctoo little fussy face i am as dry as the heart of a sand storm at high noon in hell i have been lying here and there for four thousand years with silicon in my esophagus as gravel in my gizzard thinking thinking thinking of beer
divine drouth says i imperial fritter continue to think there is no law against that in this country old salt codfish if you keep quiet about it not yet
what country is this asks the poor prune
my reverend juicelessness this is a beerless country says i
well well said the royal desiccation my political opponents back home always maintained that i would wind up in hell and it seems they had the right dope
and with these hopeless words the unfortunate residuum gave a great cough of despair and turned to dust and debris right in my face it being the only time i ever actually saw anybody put the cough into sarcophagus
dear boss as i scurry about i hear of a great many tragedies in our midsts personally i yearn for some dear friend to pass over and leave to me a boot legacy yours for the second coming of gambrinus
DEZ--sweet of you to say so, but we kinda got creamed the other day. Even a good mind can be pounded into the earth when up against unlimited resources and greater experience.
DEZ--the kicker is that, looking back, I can see my mistakes, and how I might have won and won big had I done one or two things differently. But that is life.
The great thing is that once the paperwork is finally wrapped up--a few weeks--I should be able to do some things that I formerly did not have time to. One door closes; another opens.
I noticed the Halloween decorations are out around my neighborhood. Got my giant plastic pumpkin out of the attic and plugged it in outside. Still looks and works fine 15 years after I bought it at Wal Mart. LOL It is very bright and plastic!
If I end up in a wheelchair, you can count on me putting a 900 Kawasaki on the thing.
There's a guy around here who's in a wheel chair who's modified a sidecar set up so that he wheels into the side car and drives from there. Pretty slick it is.
It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1961, and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue.
He arrived at her house and rang the bell. 'Oh, come on in!' Peggy Sue's mother said as she Welcomed Fred in. 'Have a seat in the living room. Would you like something to drink? Lemonade? Iced tea?' 'Iced tea, please,' Fred said.. Mom brought the iced tea. 'So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?' She asked. 'Oh, probably catch a movie, And then maybe grab a bite to eat at The malt shop, maybe take a walk on the beach..' 'Peggy likes to screw, you know,' Mom informed him. 'Really?' Fred replied, his eyebrows rising. 'Oh yes,' the mother continued, 'When she goes out with her friends, that's all they do! Screw, again and again!!' 'Is that so?' asked Fred, incredulous. 'Yes,' said the mother. 'As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!' 'Well, thanks for the tip!' Fred said as he began Thinking about alternate plans for the evening. A moment later, Peggy Sue came down the stairs Looking pretty as a picture, wearing a pink blouse and A hooped skirt, and with her hair tied back In a bouncy ponytail. She greeted Fred. 'Have fun, kids!' the mother said as they left. Two hours later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue Burst into the house and slammed the Front door behind her. 'The Twist, Mom!' she angrily yelled to Her mother in the kitchen. "The freakin' dance is called the TWIST!!!"
9 year old Jack was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, 'Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?' She was a little taken aback, but she decided to tell him the truth. 'It's called sexual intercourse, darling.' Little Tony said, 'Oh, ok,' and went back outside to play with the other kids. A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, 'Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called bunk beds. And Jimmy's mum wants to talk to you.'
Got my giant plastic pumpkin and I plugged it in outside It scares all the little kiddies, and it makes them run and hide So they stay away from my house and they don't come trick or treat; And all the tasty candy remains here for me to eat.
Dan and his buddies were hanging out and planning a 5-day golf trip. Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go because his wife wouldn't let him!
After a lot of teasing and name calling, Dan headed home totally frustrated. The following week when Dan's buddies arrived at the golf resort, they were shocked to see Dan sitting in the lobby, drinking a beer, holding his putter!
"How did you talk your wife into letting you go, Dan?"
"I didn't have to," Dan replied. "Last night I slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows. Then, my wife snuck up behind me and
covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise.' When I peeled her hands back, she was standing there in a beautiful see-through negligee and said, 'Carry me into the bedroom, tie me to the bed and you can do whatever you want' ..
RIDGE MANOR, Fla. (AP) - A Gulf Coast man was arrested after falling asleep in the freezer of a shuttered pub he was trying to rob.
Investigators said the man hopped a fence in Ridge Manor and pried open a locked storage shed. He allegedly ate a can of tomatoes, entered the walk-in freezer and took a nap.
A Hernando deputy discovered the 49-year-old on Sunday during a security check of the building. He faces a commercial burglary charge.
In college I used to hang out in a bar called the Pub. A drinking bar. The kind of place where you would not be the only one sitting there at 10:00 a.m. if that happened to be your prefered time of day to drink. Not a particularily classy joint like you have here. We used to call it the Pube.
Gotcha. People always get freaked when we tell them we just pull that stuff out in the office. Most of the time, pins will come out on their own. Sometimes, it takes a little effort.
Four men go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place:
First guy: 'You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I would paint every room in the house next weekend.'
Second guy: 'That is nothing, I had to promise my wife that I would build her a new deck for the pool.'
Third guy: 'Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I would remodel the kitchen for her.'
They continue to fish. When they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word, they asked him. 'You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend.What's the deal?'
Fourth guy: 'I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a slap on her butt and said:
Formercorpsman, they just gave em a 1/4 turn and pulled. its sore now, but not bad. the pins held the shattered bones in place and locked the joint. I will not forget the whole mess anytime soon.
Have a bit of time to hang out. Since some are talking about holiday food, I thought I'd post this for the chocolate lovers. Redstone candy has been a tradition in our family for at least 40 years. If you love chocolate, you will love this.
FIRST round on me. DEZ drinks on me the whole night.
ReplyDeleteForth! - C²
ReplyDeleteWelcome, Erik and Callahan! What can I get you?
ReplyDeleteAhhh, beer-o-clock!
ReplyDeleteBar Wench, if you please a Snake River Custer's Last Ale!
I LOVE THIS BAR ....
ReplyDeleteOH, YEAH ... First! even if I ain't ...
Damn ... you guys must have been refreshing the page every second ...
ReplyDeleteHi Brandy. My usual please and anything top shelf for my green buddy.
ReplyDeleteNew Zealand town cancels rabbit-throwing contest
ReplyDeleteIn the contest, which is held each year to coincide with the start of the pig hunt, children see how far they can throw a dead rabbit.
But the RSPCA said the rabbit-throw sent a message to children that dead animals were fun and could legitimately be used as a form of entertainment
/dead animals ARE fun!
Thanks Erik, your a good one.
ReplyDelete*BURP*
Killian Bundy ... I have skinned many a rabbit (sorry take that PETA) and I love them smoked ...
ReplyDeleteDEZ said howdy at the end of the last thread. I do not have my timing down for turning the page! lol
ReplyDeleteKillian Bundy said...
ReplyDeleteNew Zealand town cancels rabbit-throwing contest
Fine we'll throw live dwarves then.
Rabbits are easy to skin, but never tried them smoked.
ReplyDeleteYou have my attention.
Evening, all. Good to be here. Brandy, may I have a Bells?
ReplyDeleteThanks snow, its good to see you.
ReplyDeletebeer from here
ReplyDeletethat was for you, JCM. Spenser, it's coming up
ReplyDeleteKillian Bundy said...
ReplyDeleteNew Zealand town cancels rabbit-throwing contest
My g-d I hope this doesn't spread...
No more NFL (pigskin) and MLB (horsehide).
Wow, Brandy poured a double.
ReplyDeleteI'm a boozer
ReplyDeleteWon't somebody bring a beer to me?
I'm a boozer
Just push those pretzels near to me...
--not the Beatles
beer up, Spenser
ReplyDeleteBuddy Guy ... sweet as it gets ...
ReplyDeleteSweet Black Angel ...
If they cancel rabbit-throwing...
ReplyDeleteSquirrel catapults cant be far behind!
Dwarf toss Go to 1 minute in.
ReplyDeleteBuzz is in da house.
ReplyDeleteHere ya go, Buzz!
ReplyDeleteMmmmmmm, frosty.
ReplyDeleteWhat can I get you, DEZ?
ReplyDeleteBeer is living proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy.
ReplyDelete-Benjamin Franklin
Here, Erik
ReplyDeleteI wish someone would market Tut Uncommon Ale.
ReplyDeleteBar Wench Brandy said...
ReplyDelete"What can I get you, DEZ?"
Your here, what else could I need?
This, Buzz?
ReplyDeleteWhen I saw Killian's post above I thought for a minute it said "Rabbi throwing."
ReplyDeleteI had this image in my mind of burly guys throwing bearded men like javelins.
Oh, how sweet you are! But, you forgot your apron...
ReplyDeleteHello Brandy - I just came in to say hi.
ReplyDeleteTomorrow is the last working day for the week but as lots of others have called in sick I need to bail out early today.
I pwomise to be in on the pub-action at the weekend. For now it'll be headbutting my pillow.
All y'all good people:
- - -
Gals, guys 'n 'menschen'.
See y'all down the road.
I love {y’all) Really!
I always like Maccabees beer.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if they've considered the marketing slogan "Get hammered!"
Zigzag, did you get an order in?
ReplyDeleteGoodnight Cal. See you soon.
ReplyDeleteHi there Lucius! What can I get you?
ReplyDeleteCallahan, take good care.
ReplyDeleteHey mon.
ReplyDeleteLater Cal23. Will catch up tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteMe worry ... nope ...
ReplyDeleteEric ... sigh ... who wants to dance? ...
Night Call! We will miss you. See you over the weekend! Sleep well, friend.
ReplyDeleteBWB--Holy shamoley, someone did it!
ReplyDeleteHi Formercorpsman! What will it be?
ReplyDeleteBar Wench ... I will just take a working mans Bud Light ... don't like to mix my stuff ...
ReplyDeleteWe are a well stocked bar, Buzz! It looks pretty cool, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteGoodnight Callahan ... always great when you are around ... sweet dreams ...
ReplyDeletenite callahan.
ReplyDeleteTequila sunrise.
ReplyDeleteApron, I dont need no stinking apron.
ReplyDeleteThis is a bar, feeling a draft is normal.
Here, Zizag. Bud light up!
ReplyDeleteBWB: If you are not familiar with the Prohibition-era archy & mehitabel item, "archy inteviews a pharaoh," you should be. In that, archy the cockroach interviews one of the mummies in the Met, who is dreaming of beer. It is utterly hilarious.
ReplyDeleteI'll have a Spaten Oktoberfest, darlin'
ReplyDeleteSo this beaver walks into a bar...
ReplyDeleteKillian Bundy said...
ReplyDelete/dead animals ARE fun!
Kosh's Shadow says --
But Ogden Edsel says Dead Puppies aren't much fun
Tequila sunrise up!
ReplyDeleteMan pleads guilty to DWI in motorized La-Z-Boy
ReplyDeleteA Minnesota man has pleaded guilty to driving his motorized La-Z-Boy chair while drunk. A criminal complaint says 62-year-old Dennis LeRoy Anderson told police he left a bar in the northern Minnesota town of Proctor on his chair after drinking eight or nine beers.
Prosecutors say Anderson's blood alcohol content was 0.29, more than three times the legal limit, when he crashed into a parked vehicle in August 2008. He was not seriously injured.
Police said the chair was powered by a converted lawnmower and had a stereo and cup holders.
/heh
Here we go:
ReplyDeleteboss i went
and interviewed the mummy
of the egyptian pharaoh
in the metropolitan museum
as you bade me to do
what ho
my regal leatherface
says i
greetings
little scatter footed
scarab
says he
kingly has been
says i
what was your ambition
when you had any
insignificant
and journalistic insect
says the royal crackling
in my tender prime
i was too dignified
to have anything as vulgar
as ambition
the ra ra boys
in the seti set
were too haughty
to be ambitious
we used to spend our time
feeding the ibises
and ordering
pyramids sent home to try on
but if i had my life
to live over again
i would give dignity
the regal razz
and hire myself out
to work in a brewery
old tan and tarry
says i
i detect in your speech
the overtones
of melancholy
yes i am sad
says the majestic mackerel
i am as sad
as the song
of a soudanese jackal
who is wailing for the blood red
moon he cannot reach and rip
on what are you brooding
with such a wistful
wishfulness
there in the silences
confide in me
my perial pretzel
says i
i brood on beer
my scampering whiffle snoot
on beer says he
my sympathies
are with your royal
dryness says i
my little pest
says he
you must be respectful
in the presence
of a mighty desolation
little archy
forty centuries of thirst
look down upon you
oh by isis
and by osiris
says the princely raisin
and by pish and phthush and phthah
by the sacred book perembru
and all the gods
that rule from the upper
cataract of the nile
to the delta of the duodenum
i am dry
i am as dry
as the next morning mouth
of a dissipated desert
as dry as the hoofs
of the camels of timbuctoo
little fussy face
i am as dry as the heart
of a sand storm
at high noon in hell
i have been lying here
and there
for four thousand years
with silicon in my esophagus
as gravel in my gizzard
thinking
thinking
thinking
of beer
divine drouth
says i
imperial fritter
continue to think
there is no law against
that in this country
old salt codfish
if you keep quiet about it
not yet
what country is this
asks the poor prune
my reverend juicelessness
this is a beerless country
says i
well well said the royal
desiccation
my political opponents back home
always maintained
that i would wind up in hell
and it seems they had the right dope
and with these hopeless words
the unfortunate residuum
gave a great cough of despair
and turned to dust and debris
right in my face
it being the only time
i ever actually saw anybody
put the cough
into sarcophagus
dear boss as i scurry about
i hear of a great many
tragedies in our midsts
personally i yearn
for some dear friend to pass over
and leave to me
a boot legacy
yours for the second coming
of gambrinus
archy
Hi Gak! Hi Kosh! Hi Kenneth! What can I get you to drink?
ReplyDeleteWhat will it be KB?
ReplyDeleteBuzz, is there anything you have not read and memorized?
ReplyDeleteI'll have a wine, Brandy
ReplyDelete"my political opponents back home
ReplyDeletealways maintained
that i would wind up in hell
and it seems they had the right dope"
heh.
Lucius!Here, honey.
ReplyDeleteSo this beaver walks into a bar...
ReplyDeleteKenneth, I choked on that one. Never expected it. lol
red or white, Kosh?
ReplyDeleteDEZ: There's lots I haven't memorized, lots I haven't read, and lots I've forgotten.
ReplyDeleteBut I am fortunate--at least, most of the time it seems fortunate--in having a pretty good memory for all kinds of odds and ends.
buzzsawmonkey,
ReplyDeletearchy the cockroach interviews one of the mummies in the Met, who is dreaming of beer.
Not surprising, the Egyptians invented beer.
Speaking of which; Bar Wench!
hopefully not pink!
ReplyDeleteBar Wench Brandy said...
ReplyDeleteWhat will it be KB?
Nothing, thanks.
/can't drink until tomorrow afternoon
Killian Bundy said... Police said the chair was powered by a converted lawnmower and had a stereo and cup holders.
ReplyDeleteI SO want one of these. :)))
Hiya Geepers! What can I get you?
ReplyDeleteOK. If you get thirsty and need a water, KB, just yell.
ReplyDeleteI'll have what buzz is drinking. Must be damn good hooch!
ReplyDeleteI'll have a red wine.
ReplyDeleteMissed the question the first time around
Buzz, I feel sorry for anyone that argues law against you, your mind is like a steel trap.
ReplyDeleteSo a baby Harp seal walks into a club...
ReplyDeletebuzzsawmonkey said...
ReplyDeleteI will say it once again. WELCOME buzz. It is such a pleasure having you as part of the C2 community.
Gin & Tonic thanks.
ReplyDelete;-)
Formercorpsman,
ReplyDeleteI'm still missing my avatar!
cool thing Buzz is drinking, Kenneth
ReplyDeleteDEZ--sweet of you to say so, but we kinda got creamed the other day. Even a good mind can be pounded into the earth when up against unlimited resources and greater experience.
ReplyDeleteIf I end up in a wheelchair, you can count on me putting a 900 Kawasaki on the thing.
ReplyDeleteSpenser,
ReplyDeleteMust be a Newfie joke...
For WeeWeeOne ...
ReplyDeleteGet yer ass back in the chair in the White House instead of campaigning ... gaze at that Egg thing you got in there ... Jackie Wilson
I picked this American flag as mine.
ReplyDeleteWent with the usual, huh Geepers? Here ya go!
ReplyDeleteG&T
Thanks for the beer, Brandy dear.
ReplyDeleteNo one wins them all Buzz.
ReplyDeleteBut you already know that.
Thanks, Brandy. Looks... intriguing.
ReplyDeleteJukebox
ReplyDelete/God is great, beer is good, people are crazy
Merlot! Enjoy, Kosh!
ReplyDeleteDEZ ... oh, I would say Buzz fights the good fight ... I seen him in action ... bravo brother ... you got the 50 cent words I don't ...
ReplyDeleteKillian ... I like Billy ... thanks! ...
ReplyDeleteDEZ--the kicker is that, looking back, I can see my mistakes, and how I might have won and won big had I done one or two things differently. But that is life.
ReplyDeleteThe great thing is that once the paperwork is finally wrapped up--a few weeks--I should be able to do some things that I formerly did not have time to. One door closes; another opens.
Sure thing! Everyone have what they need? I'm going to grab some snacks.
ReplyDeleteZigzag, Buzz has amazed me more than a few times.
ReplyDeleteRespect here.
Good to see everyone. Where's Jorline?
ReplyDeleteIf this were still a newspaper-centric society, I would have been a columnist in the Don Marquis or Franklin P. Adams mode.
ReplyDeleteAs it is, I am a pair of ragged claws, scuttling across the floor of silent seas.
Good evening C-2ers! Brandy, I'll have a bombay martini with a twist when you get a minute.
ReplyDeleteI noticed the Halloween decorations are out around my neighborhood. Got my giant plastic pumpkin out of the attic and plugged it in outside. Still looks and works fine 15 years after I bought it at Wal Mart. LOL It is very bright and plastic!
ReplyDeleteBuzz, hindsight is a wonderful thing if its used as a learning tool.
ReplyDeleteI doubt you make the same mistakes very often.
Ooh, Brandy. Do you have some more of those spiced, herbed mixed nuts?
ReplyDeleteBar Wench ... if ya got one of these in the back room bring it to me ... please ...
ReplyDeletedreaming ....
DEZ
ReplyDeleteIf I end up in a wheelchair, you can count on me putting a 900 Kawasaki on the thing.
There's a guy around here who's in a wheel chair who's modified a sidecar set up so that he wheels into the side car and drives from there.
Pretty slick it is.
(((PBJ)))
ReplyDeleteBombay Martini
ReplyDeleteThank you, Brandy.
ReplyDeleteI'll have this and then feed the dogs.
Hot wings?
ReplyDeleteHow about some hot legs?
Geepers, a side car....
ReplyDeleteNow thats using the old noggin.
Spiced nuts! Enjoy, Spenser.
ReplyDeleteDEZ, did you ever see the Stephen King werewolf movie with the kid in the hotrod wheelchair?
ReplyDeleteBar Wench Brandy,
ReplyDeleteWent with the usual, huh Geepers? Here ya go!
Beautiful. Just like you.
Zigzag, if I had THAT behind the bar, service would go down hill quickly - for a LONG time!
ReplyDeleteAs it is, I am a pair of ragged claws, scuttling across the floor of silent seas.
ReplyDeleteThat doesn't sound kosher at all. I guess that means we can't eat you.
OK I have some new jokes to break out. Anyone mind?
ReplyDeleteThanks, Geepers!
ReplyDeleteSpenser, the movie is Silver Bullet.
ReplyDeleteStephen King.
DO IT ERICK!
ReplyDeleteGo ahead, Erik! I'm listening.
ReplyDeleteLucius: You must a permit grab, would you eat the hermit crab.
ReplyDeleteDEZ - please use your hands when grabbing some nuts out of the bowl. FOR SHAME! ;)
ReplyDeleteIt was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1961, and Fred had a date
ReplyDeletewith Peggy Sue.
He arrived at her house and rang the bell.
'Oh, come on in!' Peggy Sue's mother said as she Welcomed Fred in.
'Have a seat in the living room. Would you like something to drink?
Lemonade? Iced tea?'
'Iced tea, please,' Fred said..
Mom brought the iced tea.
'So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?' She asked.
'Oh, probably catch a movie, And then maybe grab a bite to eat at The
malt shop, maybe take a walk on the beach..'
'Peggy likes to screw, you know,' Mom informed him.
'Really?' Fred replied, his eyebrows rising.
'Oh yes,' the mother continued, 'When she goes out with her friends,
that's all they do! Screw, again and again!!'
'Is that so?' asked Fred, incredulous.
'Yes,' said the mother. 'As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we
let her!'
'Well, thanks for the tip!' Fred said as he began Thinking about alternate
plans for the evening.
A moment later, Peggy Sue came down the stairs Looking pretty as a
picture, wearing a pink blouse and A hooped skirt, and with her hair tied
back In a bouncy ponytail. She greeted Fred.
'Have fun, kids!' the mother said as they left.
Two hours later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue Burst into the house
and slammed the Front door behind her.
'The Twist, Mom!' she angrily yelled to Her mother in the kitchen.
"The freakin' dance is called the TWIST!!!"
Hey {{DEZ}} nice to see you.
ReplyDeleteWhat did I do?
ReplyDeleteif I had THAT behind the bar, service would go down hill quickly - for a LONG time!
ReplyDeleteLong time? I'd say no more than 20 minutes.
Erik ... when I could not sleep at night I use to love your jokes on the old ONT .. bring it on ...
ReplyDeleteLucius Septimius,
ReplyDeleteRod gets the party started!
Wow, I got "your request could not be processed" the first time I tried to post to DEZ. That's odd.
ReplyDeleteI'm just teasing you, DEZ. 'cause I like you!
ReplyDelete20 minutes? Well - never mind then.
ReplyDeleteHAHA, Erik!
ReplyDeleteI used to date a girl that loved Rod Stewart.
ReplyDeleteHer butt was so sexy, I called it an onion butt, cause it brought tears to my eyes.
9 year old Jack was staying with his grandmother for a few days.
ReplyDeleteHe'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into
the house and asked her,
'Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the same room and one
is on top of the other?'
She was a little taken aback, but she decided to tell him the truth. 'It's
called sexual intercourse, darling.'
Little Tony said, 'Oh, ok,' and went back outside to play with the other
kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily,
'Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse. It's called bunk beds.
And Jimmy's mum wants to talk to you.'
Great martini, Brandy. Thanks a lot!
ReplyDeleteYou must a permit grab, would you eat the hermit crab.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I suppose that would be pretty good stuffed with crab meat
Now she is teasing me....
ReplyDeleteI like it!
Spenser, here are the rosemary ones.
ReplyDeleteLucius ... flounder stuff with crab meat is the best ...
ReplyDeleteYOU MAY BE TALIBAN IF -
ReplyDelete1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't
afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean."
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in
your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than
setting off roadside bombs.
9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least
one.
10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.
No problem, PBJ! Glad you enjoyed. Do you need another?
ReplyDeleteErik ... good ones ... I had a come back about the Taliban one and Obama but I will save it ... blah ...
ReplyDeleteThis goes out to snowcrash:
ReplyDeleteGot my giant plastic pumpkin and I plugged it in outside
It scares all the little kiddies, and it makes them run and hide
So they stay away from my house and they don't come trick or treat;
And all the tasty candy remains here for me to eat.
No thanks Brandy, I've still got some work to do.
ReplyDeleteErick is red hot tonight!
ReplyDeleteFor onion butt
ReplyDeleteHeh.
Snowcrash, did you get a drink?
ReplyDeleteBrandy, the rosemary herbed nuts look good. I make large quantities of cinamon sugared pecans for Chistmas gifts. Yum.
ReplyDeleteNot too hot DEZ. I wish I could post pics here. I have plenty of those.
ReplyDeleteEvening mates, I'll take whatever the bar has handy. Harrr! I am off call! Drinks are on me!
ReplyDeleteI love cinnamon sugar pecans! You'll have to send me some.
ReplyDeleteFor CC ...
ReplyDeleteChaka Khan Chaka Khan ... Tell Me Something Good ... Funky
Brandy, I'm just sipping a Diet Coke and do not need a refill yet. Thx.
ReplyDeleteBrandy, they pulled the pins outta my finger today.
ReplyDeleteCan I get a sympathy drink?
Dan and his buddies were hanging out and planning a 5-day golf trip.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go because his wife
wouldn't let him!
After a lot of teasing and name calling, Dan headed home totally frustrated.
The following week when Dan's buddies arrived at the golf resort, they were
shocked to see Dan sitting in the lobby, drinking a beer, holding his
putter!
"How did you talk your wife into letting you go, Dan?"
"I didn't have to," Dan replied. "Last night I slumped down in my
chair with a beer to drown my sorrows. Then, my wife snuck up behind me and
covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise.' When I peeled her hands back, she
was standing there in a beautiful see-through negligee and said, 'Carry me
into the bedroom, tie me to the bed and you can do whatever you want' ..
SO HERE I AM !"
LoFlyer ... talk like a pirate any day! ...
ReplyDeletewhat I had in my hand, Loflyer! ;)
ReplyDeleteDEZ, what happened?
ReplyDeleteMore rump to roast
ReplyDeleteto make you smile, DEZ
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDEZ: I hope the finger didn't explode when the pin was pulled out...
ReplyDeletewe will be here! Good luck, zigzag!
ReplyDeleteDEZ what is the prognosis?
ReplyDeleteFormercorpsman said...
ReplyDelete"DEZ, what happened?"
With me?
Buzz, weirdest damn feeling I have ever had.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I do orthopaedics. So when your wrote that, my dog ears went up.
ReplyDeletebaby chocolate pies!
ReplyDeletesnowcrash said...
ReplyDelete"DEZ what is the prognosis?"
5 weeks of therapy and 40 percent loss of normal usage.
Beats the crap outta not having it though.
DEZ: Didn't they at least dope you up?
ReplyDeleteSorry to butt in ...
ReplyDeleteDEZ, well yes, you said it was your trigger finger. Of course you need it. lol
ReplyDeleteLucius! I feel like you have an obsession! We need to get to the bottom of this.
ReplyDeleteLucius is ahead of the curve.
ReplyDeleteDid the beer make you happy, DEZ?
ReplyDeleteBrandy, baby chocolate pies? I love cute food. Really.
ReplyDeleteFormercorpsman, I cut a finger off about 7 weeks ago, long story short.
ReplyDeleteI did something stupid.
Burglar caught sleeping in pub's freezer
ReplyDeleteRIDGE MANOR, Fla. (AP) - A Gulf Coast man was arrested after falling asleep in the freezer of a shuttered pub he was trying to rob.
Investigators said the man hopped a fence in Ridge Manor and pried open a locked storage shed. He allegedly ate a can of tomatoes, entered the walk-in freezer and took a nap.
A Hernando deputy discovered the 49-year-old on Sunday during a security check of the building. He faces a commercial burglary charge.
Well I went back into the kitchen and the dishes are still dirty. Guess I gotta wash them.
ReplyDeleteBBL
DEZ, ouch! what the heck happened. Lucius, how do you embed a link here? (And your only batting 1 for four with your songs!)
ReplyDeleteIn college I used to hang out in a bar called the Pub. A drinking bar. The kind of place where you would not be the only one sitting there at 10:00 a.m. if that happened to be your prefered time of day to drink. Not a particularily classy joint like you have here. We used to call it the Pube.
ReplyDeleteEvening folks.
Bar Wench Brandy said...
ReplyDelete"Did the beer make you happy, DEZ?"
Well of course, but not as much as your company.
Nice smiley face by the way. ;)
I think Lucius is just being cheeky.
ReplyDeleteGotcha. People always get freaked when we tell them we just pull that stuff out in the office. Most of the time, pins will come out on their own. Sometimes, it takes a little effort.
ReplyDeleteHope it goes well for you.
Hello, Origin! I used cloth napkins tonight. I do think it gives the place an air of sophistication! What can I get you to drink, sugar?
ReplyDeleteAnother male hobby. I don't understand we love this stuff....
ReplyDeletehttp://www.break.com/index/shooting-an-anvil-200-feet-in-the-air.html
See you in a bit, Lucius! We have some dishes in the back here, too. I hold them for you.
ReplyDeleteKosh's Shadow said...
ReplyDeleteI think Lucius is just being cheeky.
Just what kind of crack is that?
A shot of Everclear with a beer chaser, Brandy.
ReplyDeleteIs that even legal?
Four men go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place:
ReplyDeleteFirst guy: 'You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I would paint every room in the house next weekend.'
Second guy: 'That is nothing, I had to promise my wife that I would build her a new deck for the pool.'
Third guy: 'Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I would remodel the kitchen for her.'
They continue to fish. When they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word, they asked him. 'You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend.What's the deal?'
Fourth guy: 'I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a slap on her butt and said:
'Fishing or Sex?' and she said: 'Wear sun-block.'
Back in a bit.
ReplyDeleteFormercorpsman, they just gave em a 1/4 turn and pulled.
ReplyDeleteits sore now, but not bad.
the pins held the shattered bones in place and locked the joint.
I will not forget the whole mess anytime soon.
Love what you have done with the place Brandy. I guess I shouldn't have just blown my nose in your linens.
ReplyDeleteHi everybody.
ReplyDeleteHave a bit of time to hang out. Since some are talking about holiday food, I thought I'd post this for the chocolate lovers. Redstone candy has been a tradition in our family for at least 40 years. If you love chocolate, you will love this.
Redstone Candy
Oh, yeah, I guess I have to give my regular funny sign in.
Honey is in the house
Your not going to last long doing that, Specious! How about a nice shot of bourbon instead?
ReplyDeleteeverclear, shot glass
ReplyDelete, beer
I won't tell if you won't, OS
I know. Crazy stuff for the layman.
ReplyDeleteHang in there.