For any of you who haven't sent your contact info or received any communication from me in the past, please click on my nic/avatar and shoot me an email with your info. We'll be moving shortly and I will be sending out invites to the new place (you will need this invite to enter).
Pink Freud, I'll be e-mailing realwest to a) confirm that this is, actually, me, and b) get that invitation. If I click on your avatar from this 'puter, it defaults to a no-longer-existent Mac.com account, and I'm too lazy to change it.
Thank you, OR. We are honored to have you here. A word of caution: CAREFUL ON THE STAIRS when a new thread starts. It's brutal. Be extra watchful of the ladies ....Squatch had spike-heel holes in his back for days ....
I haven't been around for quite some time, at first due to just being very busy, and then due to the fact that things have changed so much. I like the new digs, though.
You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm! I rest my case.
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A confidential analysis by staff of the U.N. nuclear watchdog has concluded that Iran has acquired "sufficient information to be able to design and produce" an atom bomb, The New York Times reported on Saturday.
The Times report was posted on its website hours after Mohamed ElBaradei, head of the International Atomic Energy Agency, arrived in Tehran for talks on a timetable for inspectors to visit a newly disclosed unfinished nuclear enrichment plant.
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, 'Son, how old are you?'
'Eight', the boy replied.
The man continued, 'Do you know what these are used for?'
The boy replied, 'Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim, play tennis and ride a bike.
Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall bought new shoes for her wedding. During the big day they became increasingly tighter and tighter as the day went on. That night, when the festivities were finally over, and they retired to their room, she flopped on the bed and said, "Charles, darling, please remove my shoes, my feet are killing me!" Her ever-obedient Prince of Wales attacked her right shoe with vigour, but it would not budge. "Harder!" yelled Camilla, "Harder". Charles yelled back. "I'm trying, darling! But it's just so bloody tight!"
"Come on! Give it all you've got!" she cried. Finally, when it released, Charles let out a big groan and Camilla exclaimed, "There! Oh, God, that feels so good!" In their bedroom next door, the Queen said to Prince Phillip, "See! I told you with a face like that, she had to be a virgin!" Meanwhile, as Charles tried to remove her left shoe, he cried, "Oh, God, darling! This one's even tighter!" At which Prince Phillip said to the Queen, "That's my boy who served in the Navy: once a Rear Admiral, always a Rear Admiral!"
A blond city girl named Amy marries a Colorado rancher.
One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy,
'The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above the cow's stall in the barn. Please show him the cow when he gets here, OK?'
The rancher leaves for the fields.
After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door.
Amy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows and when Amy sees the nail, she tells him, 'This is the one right here.'
The man, assuming he is dealing with an air head blond, asks, 'Tell me lady, 'cause I'm dying to know; how would YOU know that this is the right cow to be bred?'
'That's simple," she said. "By the nail that's over its stall,' she explains very confidently.
Laughing rudely at her, the man says, 'And what, pray tell, is the nail for?'
The blond turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder,
'I guess it's to hang your pants on.'
(It's nice to see a blond winning once in awhile.)
Hmmmm. OR, I will have a mutual friend disclose that information. It's not a big secret, but maybe not everyone knows and I don't want to disappoint them. LOL
O/R, we have some excellent contributors lined up for the new place (Pi Guy a/k/a gmsc, JCM, 3wood, Carl in Jerusalem, you...okay, that part was a joke but we would love it) - littleoldlady will be managing the pub, with our "Brandy" here; I just draw the pictures, mostly...and that's the way I'd like to keep it!
And the programmer/site owner, Running Bare, is a great guy.
We have a terrific moderating staff, too...whose names shall be kept secret like a Barney Fife undercover operation.
ASIDE TO ALL: Wow. A bunch of cool folks show up this week, Treacher stops by (right when I was talking about him, too!), and now this. Can this week get any better?
Israel's prime minister, Binyamin Netanyahu, has handed the Kremlin a list of Russian scientists believed by the Israelis to be helping Iran to develop a nuclear warhead. He is said to have delivered the list during a mysterious visit to Moscow.
There's a list?
/the Mossad must be slipping, shouldn't they just be dead?
A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her.
She jumped up and slapped him silly.
He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."
"Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed.
"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."
Evening all. Over at Ledeen's place , James Jesus Angleton explains the Copenhagen fiasco. Sure to make you pucker. Brandy, can I have a tonic and lime please?
Forth! First of course!
ReplyDeleteBEER!
ReplyDeleteWELCOME TO THE LIBERTY PUB!
ReplyDeleteOH shit Cal. First round on you again. :))) You just saved me a ton of $$$. :)))
ReplyDeleteDogfish Head 120 Minute IPA. Please.
ReplyDeleteNot for the faint of heart, serious hop heads only. 20%ABV and 120IBU.
Coming right up, Erik! :-)
ReplyDeleteThis is so much fun 'n games!
ReplyDeleteFirst round is, of course on me for being yet again first on top of the flight of stairs.
BWAHAHAAA !!!
Watch post number 2 go poof.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if my magic is going to work.
Here you are, JCM!
ReplyDeleteHand over the car keys, please.
Hi all you wonderful peoples!
ReplyDeletebaldandbold! I need your contact info ...someone must've snuck in and stole it. Just click on my avatar and send something blank, please. :)
Yo...?
ReplyDeleteIt worked. That my not be such a good thing.:)))
ReplyDeleteErik The Red,
ReplyDeleteWatch post number 2 go poof.
I wonder if my magic is going to work.
---
It's MAGIC !
CALL FOR CONTACT INFO:
ReplyDeleteFor any of you who haven't sent your contact info or received any communication from me in the past, please click on my nic/avatar and shoot me an email with your info. We'll be moving shortly and I will be sending out invites to the new place (you will need this invite to enter).
See ? My plan worked.
ReplyDeleteHow are all of you trampled people tonight ?
I am a bourbon man myself.....
ReplyDeleteBW, do you have any La Trappe?
ReplyDeleteOCCASIONAL READER!!!!
ReplyDeleteWELCOME WELCOME WELCOME!
Occasional Reader,
ReplyDeleteYo...?
---
Welcome OC, whooot!
.
Occasional Reader said...
ReplyDeleteYo...?
OH MY. WELCOME. And the family is getting bigger and bigger. :)))
OCCASIONAL READER!?!
ReplyDeletePleased to meet you! I'm Brandy, your server here at Liberty Pub. What'll you have?
"JCM said...
ReplyDeleteDogfish Head 120 Minute IPA. Please."
Copycat!
Done PF.
ReplyDeleteBar Wench said...
ReplyDeleteHere you are, JCM!
Hand over the car keys, please.
Okay, you can drive, just take it easy on her.
Ayatollah! On the rocks, I hope.
ReplyDeleteBar Wench... I'll have what JCM's having!
ReplyDeleteOR!
ReplyDeleteI knew that would bring out of the woodwork!
Bar Wench, one more for OR!
OR, how are you? (Poster formerly known as Ford_Prefect) (How long do I have to keep doing that?)
ReplyDeletePink Freud, I'll be e-mailing realwest to a) confirm that this is, actually, me, and b) get that invitation. If I click on your avatar from this 'puter, it defaults to a no-longer-existent Mac.com account, and I'm too lazy to change it.
ReplyDeleteFor OR - take it easy, y'hear?
ReplyDeleteYou just got here and the night is young.
boldandbald said... (Poster formerly known as Ford_Prefect) (How long do I have to keep doing that?)
ReplyDeleteNever again. New place, new adventures, new and old friends.
JCM,
ReplyDeleteLinky no workie. :-(
Well at least my Sox can score. They have 7 in the second and are still going. 8-4
ReplyDeleteI won't be too chatty this evening, folks, as I'm getting ready to go out. Just wanted to drop in and say hi.
ReplyDeleteThank you, OR. We are honored to have you here. A word of caution: CAREFUL ON THE STAIRS when a new thread starts. It's brutal. Be extra watchful of the ladies ....Squatch had spike-heel holes in his back for days ....
ReplyDeleteIt's OR !! Sweet!
ReplyDeleteAnother helper in the quest for the perfect boo...
Occasional Reader,
ReplyDeletethanks for your clear and level arguments you are using and for the defense of what you think is right.
Enjoy your evening, OR ...and thanks for joining us. :-)
ReplyDeleteWhere's OR going....? ;-)
ReplyDeleteBar Wench said...
ReplyDeleteJCM,
Linky no workie. :-(
Another picture, so you can find her in the lot.
The Artist Formerly Known as Ford Prefect! How long's it been?
ReplyDeleteHey! Someone pinched my *ss again.
ReplyDeleteI'm not complaining, mind, I just want to be able to return the favor.
Another picture, so you can find her in the lot.
ReplyDeleteWhoa! That's bird of paradise, isn't it?!
;-)
SWEET ride, JCM!
Callahan-- "clear and level"? You obviously have me confused with someone else. :P
ReplyDeleteOh a goodly length when excit...
ReplyDeleteOh, you mean...
Sorry.
I haven't been around for quite some time, at first due to just being very busy, and then due to the fact that things have changed so much. I like the new digs, though.
OC - ;-)
ReplyDeletemensch
Hanging with friends... Is this KEWL or what?!
ReplyDeleteboldanbald... if that goodly length keeps up for more than 3 hours, call a physician.
ReplyDeleteOR, only if she is really HOT!
ReplyDeleteIn my next life I want to live my life backwards.
ReplyDeleteYou start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!
I rest my case.
Here in the South, OR ....it's 4 hours. :P
ReplyDeleteTick tock tick tock tick tock.....
ReplyDeleteReport says Iran has data to make atom bomb
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A confidential analysis by staff of the U.N. nuclear watchdog has concluded that Iran has acquired "sufficient information to be able to design and produce" an atom bomb, The New York Times reported on Saturday.
The Times report was posted on its website hours after Mohamed ElBaradei, head of the International Atomic Energy Agency, arrived in Tehran for talks on a timetable for inspectors to visit a newly disclosed unfinished nuclear enrichment plant.
Erik,
ReplyDeleteYou finish off as an orgasm!
---
ROTFLMAO
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
ReplyDeleteThe man at the counter asked the older boy, 'Son, how old are you?'
'Eight', the boy replied.
The man continued, 'Do you know what these are used for?'
The boy replied, 'Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim, play tennis and ride a bike.
Right now, he can't do none of those'.
ROFLMAO Erik!
ReplyDeleteKeep 'em coming! :-)
I missed Occasional Reader!!! POUNDS HEAD ON DESK.
ReplyDeleteNeed another drink, Erik?
ReplyDelete;-)
Errrrrr...or maybe I didn't.
ReplyDeleteWELCOME OCCASIONAL READER. Brandy, take good care of this one. He's cool. : )
You know what they say...a bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
ReplyDeleteCamilla, the Duchess of Cornwall bought new shoes for her wedding. During the big day they became increasingly tighter and tighter as the day went on. That night, when the festivities were finally over, and they retired to their room, she flopped on the bed and said, "Charles, darling, please remove my shoes, my feet are killing me!"
ReplyDeleteHer ever-obedient Prince of Wales attacked her right shoe with vigour, but it would not budge. "Harder!" yelled Camilla, "Harder".
Charles yelled back. "I'm trying, darling! But it's just so bloody tight!"
"Come on! Give it all you've got!" she cried.
Finally, when it released, Charles let out a big groan and Camilla exclaimed, "There! Oh, God, that feels so good!"
In their bedroom next door, the Queen said to Prince Phillip, "See! I told you with a face like that, she had to be a virgin!"
Meanwhile, as Charles tried to remove her left shoe, he cried, "Oh, God, darling! This one's even tighter!"
At which Prince Phillip said to the Queen, "That's my boy who served in the Navy: once a Rear Admiral, always a Rear Admiral!"
No, you didn't.
ReplyDeletejukebox
ReplyDeleteCC,
ReplyDeleteYou got it, Boss Lady! Another one for OR!
Correspondence Committee.... pardon my ignorance, but may I ask under what name I knew you in your, erm, previous life?
ReplyDeleteErik, you are killing me!
ReplyDeleteErik the Red... LOL... I'm searching for a phantom upding button!
ReplyDeleteBrandy, they also say:
ReplyDeleteThe hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
A blond city girl named Amy marries a Colorado rancher.
ReplyDeleteOne morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy,
'The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above the cow's stall in the barn. Please show him the cow when he gets here, OK?'
The rancher leaves for the fields.
After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door.
Amy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows and when Amy sees the nail, she tells him, 'This is the one right here.'
The man, assuming he is dealing with an air head blond, asks, 'Tell me lady, 'cause I'm dying to know; how would YOU know that this is the right cow to be bred?'
'That's simple," she said. "By the nail that's over its stall,' she explains very confidently.
Laughing rudely at her, the man says, 'And what, pray tell, is the nail for?'
The blond turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder,
'I guess it's to hang your pants on.'
(It's nice to see a blond winning once in awhile.)
Erik The Red said...
ReplyDeleteLMAO.
HA! Thanks, Erik! Rofl!
ReplyDeleteWait... nobody told me this place would have pro-blonde jokes...
ReplyDelete///
Phantom?
ReplyDeleteHmmmm. OR, I will have a mutual friend disclose that information. It's not a big secret, but maybe not everyone knows and I don't want to disappoint them. LOL
ReplyDeleteOK. This last one may just get me tossed out the pub.
ReplyDeleteMohammad entered his classroom.
"What is your name?" asked the teacher.
"Mohammad".... answered the kid.
"We are in Australia and there is no "Mohammad". From now on your name will be "Bruce"." replied the teacher.
In the evening, Mohammad returned home. "How was your day, Mohammad?" asked his mother.
"My name is not 'Mohammad'. I am in Australia and now my name is 'Bruce'."
"Ah, are you ashamed of your name, are you trying to disown your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you." and she beat him.
Then she called his father and he too beat him savagely.
The next day Mohammad returned to school. When the teacher saw him with all the bruises she asked:
"What happened to you little Bruce?"
"Well, Miss, two hours after becoming Australian I was attacked by two fuckin’ Arabs!..."
Wait... nobody told me this place would have pro-blonde jokes...
ReplyDeleteI thought all blondes were Pros ?
//
G Major Toccata.
ReplyDeleteFor fans of the pipe organ.
No problem, CC. I just e-mailed that mutual acquaintance anyway (or the one I assume you're referring to).
ReplyDeleteI'm telling the UN Human Rights Commission on you Erik!
ReplyDelete(...or whatever those jokers call themselves.)
HA!
ReplyDeleteHi gang. How's everyone?
ReplyDeleteWelcome, OR!!!
GO WHITE SOX!
ReplyDelete/the Twins are still alive!
boldandbald,
ReplyDeleteHow perfect is that?!
Good evening, PBJ,
ReplyDeleteWhat can I get for you?
Ha, indeed! Good cartoon.
ReplyDelete(I was, erm, "intamit" (as Homer Simpson spells it) with a young Korean woman with the last name of "Ha" once... ah, memories)
BW, I know!
ReplyDeleteboldandbald said...
ReplyDeleteHA!
Whenever you link to that site I have a question to ask you. Is it, or not?
Hi Brandy, may I have a bombay martini, shaken, with a twist when you get a few minutes to spare?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the warm welcomes from all. It's really nice to see.
ReplyDeleteKillian!
ReplyDeleteErik, no. Coincidence.
ReplyDeletePBJ, it's now a Mumbai Martini, you, you... politically incorrect fascist!
ReplyDeletePBJ,
ReplyDeleteENJOY!
OR:
ReplyDeleteI love being politically incorrect!
Okay, ignorant question: How do I do hyperlinked comments here?
ReplyDeleteAyatollah,
ReplyDeleteI bet you're ready for another!
Thank you Brandy, just what I needed.
ReplyDelete<*a href="URL here">link title<*/a*>
ReplyDeleteRemove the asterisks.
Hey BW! I never got my La Trappe. What, you don't stock beers made by Belgian monks?
ReplyDeleteOR,
ReplyDeleteFill in, remove asterisks and you are done:
<*a href="*url*">Link Text<*/a*>
boldandbald,
ReplyDeleteWe most certainly do!
Sorry I missed your order! ;-)
BnB,
ReplyDeleteBeligum monks?
Abbey or 1554
Occasional Reader said...
ReplyDeleteOkay, ignorant question: How do I do hyperlinked comments here?
The old fashioned way.
<*a href="URL">TEXT<*/a>
/HTML (without the asterisks)
Testing...
ReplyDeleteAdriana Lima
(Some things never change)
I'm thinking of getting cocktail napkins printed up for the bar saying...
ReplyDelete<*a href="URL here">link title<*/a*>
Remove the asterisks.
For our gracious hostess.
ReplyDeleteOkay, gotta run. Really nice to see you all. Take care, and careful with those Belgian ales...
ReplyDeleteThanks, BW. I don't drink much, so I figure if your only going to drink one, make it a strong one. 10% abv.
ReplyDeleteOR,
You passed with flying colors!
O/R, we have some excellent contributors lined up for the new place (Pi Guy a/k/a gmsc, JCM, 3wood, Carl in Jerusalem, you...okay, that part was a joke but we would love it) - littleoldlady will be managing the pub, with our "Brandy" here; I just draw the pictures, mostly...and that's the way I'd like to keep it!
ReplyDeleteAnd the programmer/site owner, Running Bare, is a great guy.
We have a terrific moderating staff, too...whose names shall be kept secret like a Barney Fife undercover operation.
ASIDE TO ALL: Wow. A bunch of cool folks show up this week, Treacher stops by (right when I was talking about him, too!), and now this. Can this week get any better?
Later OR.
ReplyDeleteAwww, thanks PBJ! :-)
ReplyDeleteMy favorite song!
'Night, OR! It was GREAT to meet you! Come back soon!
Later OC!
ReplyDeleteLater OR. It was sure nice to see you.
ReplyDeleteSo, I just missed OR? He was the one who pointed me here. At least he didn't take Ms. Lima's pic with him when he left.
ReplyDeleteYesterday...er...someone was looking for Ayatollah Ghilmieni, and today he just APPEARS!
ReplyDeleteHmmm...I wonder if that really works? Anybody know where Hugh Jackman is?!
Israel names Russians helping Iran build nuclear bomb
ReplyDeleteIsrael's prime minister, Binyamin Netanyahu, has handed the Kremlin a list of Russian scientists believed by the Israelis to be helping Iran to develop a nuclear warhead. He is said to have delivered the list during a mysterious visit to Moscow.
There's a list?
/the Mossad must be slipping, shouldn't they just be dead?
Too cool
ReplyDeleteBar Wench said...
ReplyDeleteYesterday...er...someone was looking for Ayatollah Ghilmieni, and today he just APPEARS!
Hmmm...I wonder if that really works? Anybody know where Hugh Jackman is?!
Calling Demi, Pamala, Jemma, and Cindy. :)))
For you, Erik.
ReplyDeleteA lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"
Brandy,
ReplyDeleteHmmm...I wonder if that really works? Anybody know where Hugh Jackman is?
---
Is it this Hugh or that Jackman you were looking for?
boldandbald said...
ReplyDeleteFor you, Erik.
Good one. LMAO
A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her.
ReplyDeleteShe jumped up and slapped him silly.
He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."
"Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed.
"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."
Callahan! OH! OH!
ReplyDelete/vapors!
Can I get you something to drink, sweetie? ;-)
Bar Wench,
ReplyDeleteCallahan! OH! OH!
/vapors!
Can I get you something to drink, sweetie? ;-)
---
Only the choicest pieces for you, darlin'! ;-)
My Jamesons will do, thanks.
Evening all.
ReplyDeleteOver at Ledeen's place , James Jesus Angleton explains the Copenhagen fiasco.
Sure to make you pucker.
Brandy, can I have a tonic and lime please?
Signs That You are Too Drunk
ReplyDeleteYou have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
Your job is interfering with your drinking.
Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alchohol stream.
Your career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.
The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence? I think not!
Two hands and just one mouth.. - now THAT'S a drinking problem!
You fall off the floor..
Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.
At AA meetings you begin: 'Hi my name is.. uh..'
Roseanne looks good.
Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.
The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.
OR! Great to see you here.
ReplyDeleteCallahan, I'll serve it upstairs! ↑
ReplyDeleteYou too, Jim. Bring your link! :-)
boldandbald,
ReplyDeleteUpsyDaisy! ↑