Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The Liberty Pub - OPEN #2

169 comments:

  1. wo cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, “You know, I just can’t seem to get a tender missionary, I’ve baked them, I have boiled them, I have roasted them, I have poached them, I’ve stewed them, I’ve barbecued them, I’ve tried every sort of marinade. I just can’t seem to get them tender.”

    The second cannibal asks, “What kind of missionary do you use?”

    The other replies, “You know, the ones that hang out at the place at the bend of the lake.

    They have those brown cloaks with a funny ring of hair on their heads.”

    “Aha!” the second cannibal replies. “No wonder – those are friars!”

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  2. You could have at least posted FIRST! JCM. :)

    /fourth.

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  3. Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his cousin in the woods?

    Think about it>

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  4. Thought I saw Blood on his sleeve heading in. Hope he makes it up that stairwell okay.

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  5. Every time this one gets on here,
    a new thread pops up. I can take a hint.

    later

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  6. A tom cat and a tabby were courting on a back fence one night.

    The tom leaned over to the tabby with pent up passion and purred, “I’d die for you!”

    The tabby gazed at him from under lowered eye lids and asked, “How many times?”

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  7. A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Buddhist, missionaries all, were working
    together in South America. As they were traveling, the three were
    captured and eaten by a tribe of cannibals. Twenty-four hours later the
    cannibals had an ecumenical movement.

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  8. Bohs, stick around the party is just getting started.

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  9. DEZ, I would rather not. On that note I am off to bed. Goodnight all!

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  10. The stairs will bend and carry Blood upwards. They know who he is, and they respect him.

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  11. Stick around, Blood. I'll get you a cold beer on the house.

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  12. One
    Two
    leave out
    three
    and your
    back at zero land.

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  13. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?

    Money.

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  14. What's the medical term for the redundant piece of skin at the end of a Penis?

    A man

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  15. Life in the land Harry Reid and John F. Kerry write the rules..

    sucks does it not

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  16. Why are women such bad judges of distance?
    Men keep telling them that a half foot is ten inches.

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  17. Here's that cold one I promised you Blood.

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  18. Blood on his sleeve said...

    EPA Rules your gas, do not pass CO2.


    Guess I better stop breathing then. :p

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  19. When you vietnam vets look back, any way you ever ever thought the likes of John F. Kerry would be in command or any thing other than the latrine slush pit in the ground

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  20. Adam was distraught and lonely.
    So God said, for an arm and a leg I can make a woman that will cook, clean have sex at any given moment and treat you like a king.
    Adam says, what can I get for a rib.

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  21. I killed the trhead again didnt I.

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  22. Talk is cheap.
    Action is all that is left.

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  23. Because I'm a man , when the car isn't running very well,

    I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what

    I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say

    to the other, 'I used to be able to fix these things, but now

    with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know

    where to start.' We will then drink a couple of beers and

    break wind, as a form of holy communion.

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  24. DEZ said...Adam says, what can I get for a rib.

    LMAO. Damn that Adam.

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  25. A newly married couple were on their honeymoon in Rio. Shopping in the market one day, they ran across an old man selling a parrot which spoke 3 languages, was very talkative and beautiful to boot.
    They decided to buy him for the brides father as he would now be living alone, his wife having passed some time ago.
    They packaged the parrot with the delivery service with a thank you note to the father for all he had done for them.

    After they returned,they decided to see how everything was going and paid him a visit.
    He answered the door, hugs all around, until the daughter asked him how the parrot was doing.

    He was delicious, said the father.

    WHA...wait, you mean you ATE HIM ?! the daughter asked.

    Yes, he said, and Thank You, he was delicious.

    That bird cost $800 and spoke 3 languages ! The son-in-law boomed.

    Well, the father says, I guess he should have said something...

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  26. midwestgak said...

    A backward poet writes inverse.

    Do they have aixelsyd?

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  27. Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex.

    I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.

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  28. Okay, I'm gonna leave y'all with this. Check out their clothing choices:

    Mug Shots

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  29. Well gotta go. I'll see you all in a couple of weeks in the new diggs. Off to NY for a reunion of sorts. (Hugs) for all.

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  30. Goodnight, Gak! Have a wonderful trip and come back safe and sound. See you then!

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  31. Over my dead body.
    The hot iron is now
    this time put to you,

    will you attempt escape
    into the night,
    will you stand and fight

    Who will it be who says
    no more, not on our watch.

    Finger fights.
    Word fights.
    Eyes hard.

    Yet, the Nuke option is in Harry Reids useless hand.
    Yet, the open borders.
    Yet, the One lies now in old reruns of the orginal lie.
    Yet, undone the Orginal Constitution.

    Yet, the wait goes on.

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  32. Later, redstate, always good to see you!

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  33. Redstate, is that Obama's cabinet?

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  34. Evening, all! CC, I am so honored that you thought my comment deserved its own post. I wish I'd been here to preen and gloat at the time. :) Oh, and I fully support your policy and the actual content of the post.

    So how's tricks?

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  35. DEZ, you know about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He lies awake all night wondering if there is a dog.

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  36. Hey there doppel, can I get you a drink?

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  37. Blood, I always put up a new thread when the other one gets "full", at 200 posts.

    Didn't even know you were around tonight when I did it. Glad to see you!

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  38. Ms. Doppelganglander! How you doin hon?
    One last song for the jukebox, then it's time for bed. Y'all stay safe.
    Lone Star State of Mind

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  39. Have fun, Gak! See you when you get back. Wish I could go too.

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  40. My cat wants to talk to you guys.
    So if you see something intelligent posted, you know its the cat.

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  41. Dopple, your comment made me bust out laughing, and I thought it would make a good exercise for an open afternoon thread - so thank YOU.

    I love that photograph of Olive Oyl. (That IS a photograph, right?)

    Thanks for the nod on the policy stuff. We've had some good questions about it, so we felt further explanation might be helpful for people.

    But enough of that - what are you drinking? : )

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  42. Nice song, Jim. Hope to see you soon.

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  43. Hi Jim! bye, Jim!

    Hey, Bar Wench. I'm drinking Heineken Light tonight.

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  44. Howdy y'all....what's happening this evening? Any bar fights? sloppy drunks? Are the lager goggles on?

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  45. Happy Drunks. No fights
    But I think somebody has beer farts. Don't look at me

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  46. Hello desert.
    one more drink and even I will think I'm cute.

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  47. Hey DD. No fights, drunks or goggles yet. Great jokes(except mine). How about an ice cold 1800? BW set them up please.

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  48. I'll have a nice frosty brew please, BW

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  49. Thanks Brandy! Is anyone else watching Glee? Kristen Chenowith is absolutely hysterical. This is my favorite new show.

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  50. Didn't see you come in Desert Dog, how are you? Here's a nice frosty beer for you

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  51. That is a frosty one! Thank you!!

    A few more of those and I will be wearing LAGER GOGGLES!

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  52. Phew, nobody had better light a match in here! The whole joint might go up. Somebody want to crack open the back door for me?

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  53. I am currently whipping up a batch of spaghetti, garlic bread and hot italian sausage! And, in between shots of the frosty brew from the Bar Wench, sipping some tasty cheap red wine!

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  54. Well I am going to call it a night. See you all later on.

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  55. Is our Desert Sage around tonight? Are we going all Helen Thomas again?

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  56. Sage stopped by earlier but haven't seen him for a few.

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  57. Good night, Phil!

    Desert Dog, how's it going?

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  58. Evening all. What's the easiest way to post under the nic that many of you would know me by? A new Google account or typepad or what? Those are so huge that no variation of my nic is available. It is great to see all of you here!

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  59. Coast Guard aids submarine crew member off Washington cost (video)

    A U.S. Navy submarine crewman was rescued off the coast of Washington state Tuesday by an Astoria-based U.S. Coast Guard helicopter crew - but few details have been released about the sub itself, its mission and position.

    The Navy contacted the Coast Guard Tuesday evening to ask for help getting a sick crewmember to a hospital from a submarine.

    Coast Guard Air Station Astoria launched an MH-60 Jayhawk helicopter crew to the sub's secret location. The rescue helicopter arrived on scene at 7:12 p.m. and hoisted the crewmember by basket from the sail of the submarine. The crewmember was flown to Oregon Health and Science University in Portland.

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  60. It's going great, Dopp....thanks for asking. How's things in your neck of the woods these days?

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  61. Have a good one, Phil. Hope we'll see you again tomorrow night.

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  62. Marc,

    New google account or you can just tell us...

    Typepad will take away your name and give you a number.

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  63. Marc post using google.Change your settings first name to the nic you want.

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  64. Hi Marc,
    what nic would that be?

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  65. Hello Marc. Are you new around these parts?

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  66. Scramble to help UW graduate who's an illegal immigrant

    A week ago, Jorge-Alonso Chehade faced a dilemma familiar to many illegal immigrants: leave the U.S. and be banished for 10 years or stay and live as a fugitive.

    In a three-day span, the circumstances around his departure, ordered by an immigration judge 120 days earlier, were changing by the hour.

    The 22-year-old University of Washington business-school grad was set to board a flight back to Peru Thursday morning, the day before his departure deadline.

    That's when a rare, third option materialized for him in a way it hardly ever does for anyone else: an immigration bill in Congress intended for him — and him alone.

    House Bill 3638, introduced last Wednesday by U.S. Rep. Jim McDermott, would, if approved, let Chehade remain legally and permanently in the U.S. — eight years after he and his family arrived from Peru on visitors' visas and overstayed.

    But the private bill will likely move too slowly to forestall his deportation.


    He sounds like a decent guy, just the sort of immigrant we want to come here. BUT, he needs to do it the right way, the legal way.

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  67. Who is this Marc?
    Pull up a chair and do not let these guys push your stool in.

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  68. OK, I'm too tired to figure that Google stuff out right now, but this is Spenser (with an S). Now I've done it, haven't I? :)

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  69. DEZ,

    Get that thing off your shoulder and be nice to the newcomer.

    Aliens, can't live with 'em.... can't live without 'em....

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  70. Yes you have Spenser.
    Welcome, and here comes a man hug. ;)

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  71. Greetings Earthing, formerly known as Spenser with an S, now known as Marc!

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  72. Welcome, Marc. What will you have to drink tonight?

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  73. Marc,

    LOL!

    Welcome, have a sit, first ones on me.

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  74. Welcome Spencer, we're happy to have you aboard :-)

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  75. Well thats a weight off my shoulders!

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  76. Spenser, it's good to see you. Brandy, a round for our friend here!

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  77. Marc said...

    OK, I'm too tired to figure that Google stuff out right now, but this is Spenser (with an S). Now I've done it, haven't I? :)


    Greetings and yes you have. No going back now.:)))

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  78. SPENSER!!! Welcome!! Welcome, welcome, welcome - you can change your display name in your dashboard/profile - just click on your name, I think (?), choose edit profile, scroll down, and change your display name. You can add an avatar from the same screen.

    Good to see you!

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  79. Well all, I must retire fore the evening.
    Thanks for being the best of the best!

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  80. I don't even know how to reply or quote yet, but it's been a very long day and I'll figure it all out soon. I'll have any Weiss brew you have and thanks for the welcome. This already feels like home.

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  81. See ya DEz, have a safe trip back to the mother ship!

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  82. Later, DEZ. It's always good to see you.

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  83. Spenser with an S.

    Welcome with a W !

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  84. Tigers Win!!!

    3 game lead. 4 games to play.

    magic number is two baby.

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  85. G'nite, DEZ! I've enjoyed your company. Have a nice evening. :-)

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  86. DEZ...goodnight

    see ya around

    ;)

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  87. Tigers Win! Friggin' Twins can still lose a couple, huh?

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  88. Here you are Marc. This one's on JCM. Doppel is buying your second one so here's a little marker in case I forget.

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  89. Who put the picture of Helen Thomas on the dart board ?

    Sage sees that and it's all over.

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  90. DEZ, goodnight!

    Spenser/Marc: We have to use HTML here to put things in italics to indicate a reply, but another thing you could do is just copy what you want to reply to, and paste it with a little "re:" in front:

    re: "Safe trip home DEZ."

    Then add your comment. It'll be clear then, too.

    The new forum will have a text editor and there won't be any HTML necessary.

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  91. DEZ,

    Remember the speed limit is C, and watch out for that speed trap around Io.

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  92. Squatch, I found the hottest picture I could last night. I swear I did.

    We did end up calling Helen "The face that closed a thousand browsers" though.

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  93. The face that closed a thousand browsers

    Now that's funny.

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  94. We did end up calling Helen "The face that closed a thousand browsers" though.

    Now that is comedy gold.

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  95. American Police Force

    American Police Force Corporation Takes Over Small Town Police Force and Prisoner-Less Jail

    Calif. jail entrepreneur has checkered past

    Michael Hilton pitched himself to officials in Hardin, Mont. as a military veteran turned private sector entrepreneur, a California defense contractor with extensive government contracts who promised to turn the rural city's empty jail into a cash cow.

    Hardin's leaders were desperate to fill the $27 million jail, which has sat empty since its 2007 completion.

    So when Hilton came to town last week — wearing a military-style uniform and offering three Mercedes SUVs for use by local law enforcement — he was greeted with hugs by some grateful residents. The promise of more than 200 new jobs for a community struggling long before the recession hit had won them over.

    But public documents and interviews with Hilton's associates and legal adversaries offer a different picture, that of a convicted felon with a number of aliases, a string of legal judgments against him, two bankruptcies and a decades-long reputation for deals gone bad.

    American Police Force is the company Hilton formed in March to take over the Hardin jail.

    "Such schemes you cannot believe," said Joseph Carella, an Orange County, Calif. doctor and co-defendant with Hilton in a real estate fraud case that resulted in a civil judgment against Hilton and several others.

    "The guy's brilliant. If he had been able to do honest work, he probably would have been a gazillionaire," Carella said.

    Court documents show Hilton has outstanding judgments against him in three civil cases totaling more than $840,000.

    As for Hilton's military expertise, including his claim to have advised forces in Iraq and Afghanistan, those interviewed knew of no such feats. Instead, Hilton was described alternately by those who know him as an arts dealer, cook, restaurant owner, land developer, loan broker and car salesman — always with a moneymaking scheme in the works.

    Hilton did not return several calls seeking comment. American Police Force attorney Maziar Mafi referred questions to company spokeswoman Becky Shay.

    When asked about court records detailing Hilton's past, Shay replied, "The documents speak for themselves. If anyone has found public documents, the documents are what they are."

    Shay declined comment on Hilton's military experience.


    /the plot thickens

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  96. Is someone talking smack against my gal Helen?

    Huh?

    Huh?

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  97. Oh, thanks you guys (Squatch, dopple, etc.) - I don't know what made me think of it, except I think littleoldlady came along and complained because the first thing she saw when she loaded C2 was that face. : )

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  98. Sage, Sage...I hope you're going to be around to work your thread tonight. Will you? : ) It's going up after this one.

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  99. I'm still trying to square up my mind with the concept of "hottest Helen Thomas picture I could find".

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  100. Hi Sage, here's another Arnold Palmer for ya. I sincerely don't know who put your sweetheart's picture up on the dart board. It was done behind my back. ;-)

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  101. Am I the only one who keeps refreshing the other browser windows I have open ?

    Yep, I thought so...

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  102. sas,

    I'm still trying to square up my mind with the concept of "hottest Helen Thomas picture I could find".

    If you do, we have the meds standing by.

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  103. Squatch, I think PBJ searched for "Helen Thomas" and "sexy", and actually got a hit. A hula dancing Helen, or something.

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  104. sas,

    I just refreshed my email, and a reply all went out.........

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  105. Whooo whoooo is that? Killian Bundy!?!?

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  106. Killian, hi. What happened to your other friend?

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  107. Squatch, I think PBJ searched for "Helen Thomas" and "sexy", and actually got a hit. A hula dancing Helen, or something.

    OMG. ROFL. "and actually got a hit".

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  108. Killian Bundy, it's good to see you resume your true identity.

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  109. Spenser (with an S) said...

    Did this fix it?


    Sure does. Welcome. What can I buy you?

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  110. If you do, we have the meds standing by.

    CLEAR !

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  111. Yes, yes, Spenser!

    Squatch...OMG, I'm in tears...LMAO

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  112. Back for a few drinks I hope this time.

    Love it...old friends show up daily.

    Welcome

    Spencer with an S & KB

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  113. Lets try Bill.

    /don't make me have to edit

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  114. Is someone talking smack against my gal Helen?

    In the Navy, they'd call her a Sea Hag.

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  115. Got the defib machine ready to go here, Squatch. ROTFLMAO

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  116. Erik The Red said...


    Re: Sure does. Welcome. What can I buy you?

    Still nursing my last brew from Bar Wench. I need to go to bed, but it is so awesome to see everyone here.

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  117. We're going to be in here for about five more minutes, then I have a surprise for you all...especially you, Sage. It's a beauty. Ahem.

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  118. Last call, guys. I've got to get out a little early.

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  119. I'm good. All of this Helen talk made me stop drinking.

    Thanks, BW.

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  120. Squatch. Three-point stance. Just sayin'.

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  121. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  122. Good night, all. Unless I just stick around for 5 more minutes? I'm curious.

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  123. Helen Thomas thread, LOL----------->
    Have fun!

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  124. Spenser (with an S) said...
    Did this fix it?


    Yep.

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  125. Squatch. Three-point stance. Just sayin'.

    Engaged.

    Wait...it made you STOP drinking?

    Yeah, I don't need a buzzdream of that.

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  126. Head on up to the Helen thread, Spenser. It should be fun.

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  127. Spenser...here's a link to our policy on that, when you have a chance to check it out. Basically, we're moving on. ; )

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  128. Can we still mock and ridicule other blogs though? You know, the usual suspects?

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  129. DU, you mean? Kos? HuffPo? Sure. I think. I'll check with the Bare. : )

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  130. I'm going to be closing down tonight's Pub, so we'll see you all up on the Official Desert Sage Late Night Helen Thomas Tribute Open Thread.

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