Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The Official Desert Sage Late Night Helen Thomas Tribute Open Thread

181 comments:

  1. Rumor has it she's a switch hitter

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  2. THIS IS SO WRONG SAGE.

    ROTFLMFAO. :)))

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  3. Has anyone else considered that Helen is what Hillary will look like in 30 years?

    Before:

    Before

    After:

    Eek!

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  4. Rumor has it she's a switch hitter

    She's been a lefty all of her life...

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  5. Sage, you wanted a running gag, you GOT a running gag. LMAO

    (And when I say gag...)

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  6. Oh, for...! Now I've got to try to sleep?

    She is so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.

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  7. Hey, Sage, did you give her that pearl necklace ?

    ///



    Ok, you can can this one if need be.
    Bad Squatch !

    BADD!

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  8. Oh, that poor woman...oh my.

    At least she's got Sage!

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  9. The last time I saw something that looked like her, I pinned a tail on it.

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  10. Anyway...we'll wind down here a bit. I'll put on a pot of coffee. : )

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  11. (And I KNOW Bare won't.)

    No doubt. LOL.

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  12. sasquatchonsteroids said...

    Hey, Sage, did you give her that pearl necklace


    BAD Sas. Bad boy. :)))

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  13. I think that's the poster they use at the Catholic seminary to keep the celibacy in check.

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  14. DD that picture has done me in, for a few days. Ewweee.

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  15. sas is jealous of DS.

    I'm jealous of Helen.
    Her bat's bigger than mine !

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  16. Quit saying bad things about my woman!

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  17. sasquatchonsteroids said...

    I'm jealous of Helen.
    Her bat's bigger than mine !


    Yes, but it appears she has bludgeoned her face repeatedly with it!

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  18. Stamp her face in dough and make gorilla cookies.

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  19. Yes, but it appears she has bludgeoned her face repeatedly with it!

    Now, wait a minute, who says that I can't....

    Ok, good point.

    LMAO.

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  20. DesertSage said...

    Quit saying bad things about my woman!


    Dude, if you take her home and promise to never bring her around again. I will never say anything nasty about the old, wrinkled, ugly ass , commie again.

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  21. Sage?

    Oy!

    I bet I have nightmares tonight.

    *My eyes!* *My eyes!*

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  22. Somebody just sent me this one in email, for you, Squatch. : )

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  23. Lucius

    What did a gorilla ever do to you????

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  24. Correspondence Committee said...
    Somebody just sent me this one in email, for you, Squatch. : )


    Aha! The TRUTH COMES OUT!

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  25. Correspondence Committee said...

    Somebody just sent me this one in email, for you, Squatch. : )


    Hey Sas. I thought you destroyed all the photos of your mama.

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  26. Somebody just sent me this one in email, for you, Squatch. : )

    ROFLMAOROFLMAO.

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  27. She may need a little lubrication. Hell, she may even have cobwebs.....but so what? ! ! !

    Who are you people to judge us anyhow?

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  28. Obama shifts on cargo plane campaign pledge

    President Barack Obama has backed away from a campaign pledge to invest in more military cargo planes.

    On the campaign trail and shortly after he was sworn in as president, Obama pressed for investments in programs such as the C-17 cargo aircraft, calling it the “backbone of our ability to extend global power.”

    He shifted his stance on the C-17 shortly after Defense Secretary Robert Gates announced in April that the Pentagon wants to stop buying the planes made by Chicago-based Boeing Co. All the references to the cargo plane were promptly removed from the White House’s new website.

    Just after Obama’s inauguration, the White House website said: “We need greater investment in advanced technology ranging from the revolutionary, like Unmanned Aerial Vehicles and electronic warfare capabilities, to essential systems like the C-17 cargo and KC-X air refueling aircraft, which provide the backbone of our ability to extend global power.”

    That statement echoed a similar statement Obama had on his campaign website.

    . . .

    Obama has shifted to the other side of the debate as his administration — in particular Gates and the Office of Management and Budget — has pressed against additional congressional funding for the cargo planes and other programs seen as wasteful spending. The Pentagon did not request any funding for the planes in its 2010 budget request.


    Obama lied?

    /again?

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  29. Hey Sas. I thought you destroyed all the photos of your mama.

    I missed one, apparently.
    DAMN!

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  30. She may need a little lubrication. Hell, she may even have cobwebs.....but so what? ! ! !

    Who are you people to judge us anyhow?


    Your woman is what is known around here as a "Double Bagger"

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  31. Lucius Septimius said...

    Love your tunes.

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  32. She may need a little lubrication. Hell, she may even have cobwebs.....but so what? ! ! !


    Mmm... Helen Thomas Pr0n.

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  33. Hey Killian -- nice to see you here.

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  34. Sas -- just pulling up random stuff from my grading playlist.

    I'm so much a 70s rock guy it's not funny.

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  35. Running Bare said...

    No way in hell am I opening that.

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  36. Your woman is what is known around here as a "Double Bagger"

    I thought we we friends, Desert?

    Bro's even?

    Desert bro's...

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  37. We are bros! So, let make that a triple bagger then (one for me too)

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  38. Killian,

    And their still futzing around with the damn air tankers.

    Birds are 50 years old, and the logistical reason why we can project power around the world.

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  39. No way in hell am I opening that.

    It's wet and dripping, but also old and cavernous.

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  40. No way in hell am I opening that.


    I'm detecting subtle hints that point to a lack of trust between you and I, my friend.

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  41. Lucius Septimius said...

    Hey Killian -- nice to see you here.


    I've been here.

    /eatitorwearit

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  42. It's wet and dripping, but also old and cavernous.

    Leave my ex-wife out of this.

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  43. sasquatchonsteroids said... No way in hell am I opening that.

    LMAO. DON'T. Can we go in the opposite direction please.

    NSFW

    This is the bleach for your eyes guys.

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  44. We are bros! So, let make that a triple bagger then (one for me too)

    DAMN!

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  45. Thanks Erik, I can see again...whew that was close to blindness

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  46. I'm detecting subtle hints that point to a lack of trust between you and I, my friend.

    OKOK, let's have a look see.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    My Lord, noones been here for ages
    My Lord, noones been here for ages

    Didn't have to say it twice.

    I didn't.

    LOL.

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  47. [Whispering to the audience of lurkers]: This is a man's thread, no doubt. Of course, usually something like that features models in very little clothing. Here at C2, we go for the unconventional. Shhhhh. Just listen.

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  48. This is the bleach for your eyes guys.

    Woot !

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  49. Shhhhh. Just listen.

    Faaaaaaaarrrrrrrrttttttt...

    Excuse me.

    /WhatTheVeganPepleSay

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  50. Poor Helen. I think she invented hallway sex.

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  51. Squatch said...

    Poor Helen. I think she was alive when sex was invented.

    Fixed.

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  52. Sorry CC. The testosterone got to high. I had to counter the Helen factor.

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  53. Running Bare said...

    ROFL,looks like he's eating breakfast again !

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  54. Erik The Red said...

    This is the bleach for your eyes guys.

    On second thought honey I'm going stay up a little longer...the guys have a pretty good thread going now.

    wOOt

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  55. I think the Titty Bar thread is an idea who's time has co... well, you know what I mean.

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  56. It's been real and it's been fun.....Hell, it's even been real fun...but, I must bid you all adieu. I will see you all tomorrow.

    Desert Sage, you and your woman have a wonderful evening. May I suggest the lights....all the lights...be off? :-)

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  57. May I suggest the lights....all the lights...be off? :-)

    He'll be fine. He's got one of those Miner helmets.

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  58. Running Bare said...

    May I suggest the lights....all the lights...be off? :-)

    He'll be fine. He's got one of those Miner helmets.


    LMFAO.

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  59. 'No credible evidence' of Iranian nuclear weapons, says UN inspector

    The UN's chief weapons inspector, Mohamed ElBaradei, said today he had seen "no credible evidence" that Iran is developing nuclear weapons, rejecting British intelligence allegations that a weapons programme has been going on for at least four years.

    Well, at least he's leaving the job.

    /I wonder how big his retirement account is?

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  60. Helen looks like she's dragged the infield a few hundred times during her days.

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  61. Erik, all: It's all good guys. I'm here totally cringing my ass off, but that's just what I do. LOL

    Good thing we don't have a crude, misogynistic jokes policy. ; )

    Last night it was mostly women around when I put the thread up, so we were trying to find nice things to say about her. What a difference a day makes. LOL

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  62. Killian Bundy said...

    'No credible evidence' of Iranian nuclear weapons, says UN inspector


    Does Mohamed ElBaradei even have any credibility left?

    Fuck the UN.

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  63. /I wonder how big his retirement account is?


    I hope his retirement benefits include a vet plan for his fucking seeing-eye dog.

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  64. ROFL

    I love Fail Blog. This is a fun one, too.

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  65. What a difference a lay makes. LOL



    *drinks coffee all nonchalant*

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  66. Running Bare said...

    What a difference a lay makes. LOL


    LMAO. Sage laid Helen?

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  67. Sage laid Helen?

    I heard it from a friend of a friend of a girl he know's hairdressers' second cousin who heard about it from the security guard where she works' boss who overheard it in the hallway by the waterfountain.

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  68. Running Bare said...

    Sage laid Helen?

    I heard it from a friend of a friend of a girl he know's hairdressers' second cousin who heard about it from the security guard where she works' boss who overheard it in the hallway by the waterfountain.


    As good as hearing it from the MFM!!!

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  69. As good as hearing it from the MFM!!!

    I hear that Obama videotaped it, and watches it everynight before bed, and the media is covering it up.

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  70. I have 12 minutes until I turn into a pumpkin. If I don't sat good night before I go poof. Later C2ers. Stay Real.

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  71. Good night, Erik!

    (I will not scroll up and read. I will not scroll up and read. I will not scroll up and read. X 500.)

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  72. I will not scroll up and read. I will not scroll up and read. I will not scroll up and read. X 500

    You know you want to. Plus, there are a few comments up there that need to be deleted. I'll let you find them.

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  73. Did I miss the floor show?

    Has Helen done the dance of the seven veils yet?

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  74. Well, ok, there are not any, really. I made that up, to get you to scroll up and read.

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  75. swingingest grade "A" number one USDA choice dancer in the sultan's whole harem, 'cause, heh, him and her had
    a thing goin', you know, and they'd been carryin' on for some time now behind the sultan's back and you
    could hear him talk to his camel as he rode out across the dunes, his voice would cut through the still night desert air and he'd say "Yaaaa eeee yaaa oooo aaaa heee ooo waaaa!"
    which is Arabic for, "Stop, Clyde!" and Clyde'd say, "Prrrppppttthhh", which is camel for, "What the heck did he say anyway?"

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  76. JCM, I don't think you missed anything - but a confirmation that we have a lot of red-blooded American men here on C2, who still have some lockerroom in 'em. LOL

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  77. It didn't work Bare!

    Did it work clothed?

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  78. So...do I put on the coffee now, or what? LOL

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  79. Sage he brought that camel to a screechin' halt in the rear of Helen's tent, jumped off Clyde, snuck around the corner, and into the tent he went.

    There he saw Helen layin' on a zebra skin rug With rings on her fingers and bells on her toes and a bone in her nose, ho ho.

    There she was, friends, lyin' there in all her radiant beauty, eating on a raisin, grape, apricot, pomegranate, bowl of chittlin's, two bananas, three Hershey bars, sipping on a RC coca-cola listenin' to her transistor, watchin' the Grand Ole Opry on the tube, readin' a Mad magazine while she sung, "Does your chewing gum lose it's flavor?" Yeah, Sage walked up to her and he say, "YAAAAAEEEEAAAAOOOOOOAAAAHEEEEOOOOOAAAA!", which is Arabic for "Let's twist again like we did last summer, baby!" Ha, ha, ha!! You know what I mean! Whew! She looked up at him from off the rug, give him one of the sly looks, she said "tee hee heee hee hahahahahahaha! Crazy, crazy, crazy baby!"

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  80. ROFLMAO Bare! You guys are sooooo bad! I love it! Hahahahaha!

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  81. ROFLMAO Bare! You guys are sooooo bad! I love it! Hahahahaha!

    Ray Stevens. Classic. Not PC. ;)

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  82. ROTFLMFAO, RB. Thanks and good night for real this time.

    BTW. GREAT job on the new site. I can't wait for all the cobwebs to be swept out. :)))

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  83. Where is my cyanide? WHERE IS MY CYANIDE?!

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  84. CC,

    ....but a confirmation that we have a lot of red-blooded American men here on C2, who still have some lockerroom in 'em. LOL

    We're gonna' need a service to deal with the smell.

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  85. Where is my cyanide? WHERE IS MY CYANIDE?!

    In my false tooth?


    Nope. Wait. That's corn.


    Never mind.

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  86. Ahmadinejad: Iran will allow 3rd party to enrich its uranium

    A day before Western leaders were scheduled to open talks with Iran in Switzerland, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad announced on Wednesday that he was prepared to let a third party enrich uranium to the grade his country required for its nuclear reactor, rather than carry out the enrichment itself.

    "One of the subjects on the agenda of this negotiation is how we can get fuel for our Teheran reactor," the president was quoted by ISNA news agency as saying, according to AFP.

    "As I said in New York, we need 19.75-percent-enriched uranium. We said that, and we propose to buy it from anybody who is ready to sell it to us. We are ready to give 3.5%-enriched uranium, and then they can enrich it more and deliver to us 19.75%-enriched uranium."


    Well, that's good news.

    /not sure why they still need the thousands of centrifuges in hardened underground bunkers though

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  87. BTW. GREAT job on the new site. I can't wait for all the cobwebs to be swept out. :)))

    Thanks. I'm just a code monkey. I write code, make it look halfway presentable, then CC does her design magic, and the next thing ya know it looks amazing.

    if I didn't have her help... I don't even want to think about it LOL

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  88. /not sure why they still need the thousands of centrifuges in hardened underground bunkers though

    Well, if the global economy goes bad, and the centrifuge supply dries up, they can corner the market and make beaucoup bucks.

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  89. *blush*

    Maybe folks would like to know how ridiculously close we are to finally opening this bad boy.

    There is one problem to solve, a couple of minor features to add, and we're in.

    Bare will correct me if I'm wrong. It's looking very nice, though.

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  90. LOL JCM, I think so! LMAO

    HEY, by the way - I think I just saw on Q13 that someone got some, ummmmm...video of those bikini baristas that are in trouble.

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  91. They were showing something blurry and talking about it, that's all I know. Blurred out on purpose.

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  92. HEY, by the way - I think I just saw on Q13 that someone got some, ummmmm...video of those bikini baristas that are in trouble.

    Well, that's highly inconvenient. How am I suppose to type with one hand?

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  93. Bare will correct me if I'm wrong. It's looking very nice, though.

    No, you're not wrong. It is looking very nice.

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  94. Killian,

    Six month of negotiations over the size and shape of the table while the centrifuges spin.
    Six months of negotiations over the enrichment.

    By then it'll be too late.

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  95. By then it'll be too late.


    Seems like that is the idea. On both sides. Argh.

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  96. Hey y'all - sorry I'm so late but I hadda give a brief presentation on the Federal Government and how laws are made to people who really don't care.
    It's thankless job, so of course, masochist that I am, I did it.
    What's going on this eveni.....morning y'all?

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  97. *Yawn*!

    3CP0's Handy Dandy Sleeping Pill...

    /cheap, too! ;-)

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  98. Hi realwest a/k/a 6p...and hi, littleyounglady.

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  99. Hey real C3PO west!

    Here's a link that will help you explain it easier for people:

    Schoolhouse Rock- How a Bill Becomes a Law

    Good to see ya, buddy!

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  100. X0X0X0! *mwah!* {[{RUNNING BARE}]} *mwah!* X0X0X0!

    /that's for all your work!

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  101. Isn't it just 12:30AM in EST? What are you doing up, lyl?

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  102. Pssst... Lolly Lolly Lolly, get your adverbs here.

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  103. (Psst! CC! How'd I do? ;-)

    *checks pants*


    Not bad.

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  104. Hey there Erik The Red, this is realwest!
    What new site? Huh? The Helen Thomas PrOn site?
    Anyway, someone said for me to tell someone your e-mail addy so I did!

    How are y'all doing this morning?!

    AND WHY DOESN'T Open ID recongize my registation?!

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  105. My goodness Bare, you are horrible tonight! AWFUL. [covers eyes]

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  106. You did fine, lol - I'm sorry! LOL (I had no idea he was going to do that. Ay ay ay!)

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  107. EPA Proposes Tough Greenhouse-Gas Rules for Big Industries

    The Environmental Protection Agency proposed requiring new power plants, factories and oil refiners to obtain permits to emit so-called greenhouse gases, ratcheting up pressure on Congress to pass comprehensive climate legislation.

    The EPA's proposal would effectively require new, large industrial facilities and existing ones undergoing modification to use the most up-to-date technology to curb carbon-dioxide emissions. The announcement came as environmentally minded Senate Democrats vowed to bring a newly unveiled climate bill to a vote before a major international summit on climate change in December.

    Other Democratic lawmakers from states dependent on coal and manufacturing jobs said they couldn't support the draft proposal, which calls for cutting U.S. emissions somewhat faster than a similar proposal narrowly approved by the House in June.

    "The EPA's ready to work with Congress," EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson said in announcing the proposal. "But we're not going to continue with business as usual while we wait for Congress to act."


    Hey, why wait for Congress to pass legislation when the EPA can screw the public right now through regulation.

    /bend over if you want to pay lots more for electricity

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  108. Nice to know I haven't lost my...er...touch.

    ;-)

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  109. My goodness Bare, you are horrible tonight! AWFUL. [covers eyes]

    What? She kissed me and I was so surprised, I spilled my coffee on myself.

    Geez. Pervs. *shakes head*

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  110. /bend over if you want to pay lots more for electricity

    We could be just like North Korea!

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  111. Geez. Pervs. *shakes head*

    Bare, you are my BFF. I just adore you.

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  112. We could be just like North Korea!


    You mean... a worker's paradise???? OMG!!!! YAY!!!!!

    Oh... wait. Never mind.

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  113. Bare, you are my BFF. I just adore you.

    Right back at ya. :)

    Did you like your video?

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  114. We could be just like North Korea!

    I hear the tree bark soup diet is all the rage....

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  115. I hear the tree bark soup diet is all the rage....

    Stir in a little bit of rat meat, garnish with grass clippings, and serve hot!

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  116. (The above recipe serves: several million)

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  117. We could be skinny, too, like Mariah Carey, except for all the flies and death and stuff. : ) (I know she didn't really say that.)

    And it could be dark. Except for D.C., of course.

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  118. Hey Killian - "The Environmental Protection Agency proposed requiring new power plants, factories and oil refiners to obtain permits to emit so-called greenhouse gases, ratcheting up pressure on Congress to pass comprehensive climate legislation.

    The EPA's proposal would effectively require new, large industrial facilities and existing ones undergoing modification to use the most up-to-date technology to curb carbon-dioxide emissions. The announcement came as environmentally minded Senate Democrats vowed to bring a newly unveiled climate bill to a vote before a major international summit on climate change in December."
    I reckon no one is left at the EPA to be able to read the Kelly case - where the DC District Court said -naturally enough- that the EPA can't make rule or regulations that are not specifically dictated by the legistlation, huh?
    They are gonna need a new law to make that stick.

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  119. And it could be dark. Except for D.C., of course.


    I dont' know. There's been a power failure in DC since Late January.

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  120. I'd like it if the media would ask them if their health care plan will be just like the public option they're pushing.

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  121. A natural part of the atmosphere is now a pollutant.


    You just can't make that shit up.

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  122. Correspondence Committee - screw the MSM, I'd like it if someone had the temerity (and enough pubic visibility) to require that all Federal employees - including but not limited to members of Congress and their staffs - HAD to govenerd by the same Health Care Laws either now in effect or hereinafter enacted or amended.
    I got to ONE townhall meeting - with Congresswoman Sue Myric (R-N.C.) and although the public was asking her questions, she brought that point up and that brought the house - er, townhall down.
    I'm really getting pissed off at the Elites in this nation, who are in fact legally OUR employees, living by a different set of rules than are we.

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  123. You and me both, realwest. You and me BOTH.

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  124. realwest, have you heard about our bikini baristas out here?

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  125. On Wednesday, the House Financial Services Committee held a hearing on the proposed Consumer Financial Protection Agency (example #12,567 that government’s solution to any problem is more government.) Appearing on a panel of self-appointed ‘consumer advocates’ was Anna Burger, political director for SEIU, a.k.a ACORN’s big brother.

    Rep. Patrick McHenry (R-NC) used his question time to ask Ms. Burger about ACORN. She drops a stunner, “SEIU has cut all ties to ACORN.” Watch the video below:


    Gee, one might start thinking there's some "there" there.

    Finally.

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  126. Oh BROTHER:

    In her speech in Copenhagen today, First Lady Michelle Obama said her trip to Denmark, along with the travel of her “dear friend” and “chit-chat buddy” Oprah Winfrey, as well as tomorrow’s visit by President Obama, is a “sacrifice” on behalf of the children of Chicago and the United States. “As much of a sacrifice as people say this is for me or Oprah or the president to come for these few days,” the first lady told a crowd of people involved in the Chicago project, “so many of you in this room have been working for years to bring this bid home.”

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  127. CC,

    galling, simply galling.....

    Sacrifice, yeah, stuck on a private luxury jet for 8 hours.... paid for by us.

    ReplyDelete
  128. Thanks, JCM. Crazy story. That one in Bothell had some sign out that said "XXX Girls" or something...Bare wanted to steal an "L" from the automotive place across the street with the same kind of reader board, and make it "XXXL Girls" but I stopped him.

    That, or it was my idea. I can't remember which. : )

    ReplyDelete
  129. Democratic senators are racing to
    advance a climate change bill in
    time for the president’s trip to
    December’s global summit in Copenhagen,
    but conceded that it faces a
    very hard road in the Senate.

    “We are geared to move this, and
    hopefully get to the floor, before
    that (summit). That is our hope,”
    Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., a lead
    sponsor of the bill, told reporters
    Wednesday.

    Kerry said he had spoken to several
    world leaders who will be there
    and said they all want to see the
    U.S. making legislative progress
    on reducing carbon emissions.


    He said they want to know“if we
    are moving in a serious way, if we
    are showing good faith here, and
    if the president is supportive.”

    Kerry admitted that the bill lacks
    the votes to pass the full Senate.


    So now we have to pay more for electricity to please foreigners? Kerry can suck my ass!

    /from IBD

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  130. Are you people still talking smack about my woman?

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  131. Sacrifice, yeah, stuck on a private luxury jet for 8 hours.... paid for by us.

    Yeah, just like the guys in Afghanistan.

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  132. As long as you're happy DD, we're happy for you.

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  133. As long as you're happy D[S], we're happy for you.

    I'll second this. We are very happy for Sage and his girl. : )

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  134. Hey CC and JCM and Killian! It's been fun chatting (although mostly WATCHING Y'all chat) but since I just can't take any more of the "Open ID doesn't recognize my Identity" or whatever, I'm taking off - enough frustation for one day anyway.
    I hope y'all have a great evening/early morning and that I get the chance to see you all down the road!

    Good night, all.

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  135. I don't think so, Sage. LOL

    You gotta admit, she didn't look too bad 50 years ago.

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  136. HotAir headline: Amazing: Palin’s book number one on both Amazon and Barnes & Noble bestseller list; Update: “It is truly unprecedented”

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  137. Good night, realwest!

    I will concede that, Sage...sorta. I can't really see her face very well in that picture, but maybe she had an exotic look at one time.

    Maybe. : ) (I start feeling bad making fun of her sometimes! Then I think about some of the obnoxious things I've seen her do, and I get over it!)

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  138. CC,

    I have little sympathy for anyone in the MFMSM.

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  139. So now we have to pay more for electricity to please foreigners?

    Isn't that why we were supposed to vote for Kerry in the first place?

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  140. G'night all

    There is danger from all men. The only maxim of a free government ought to be to trust no man living with power to endanger the public liberty.

    John Adams

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  141. 'Night, realwest! :-)

    'Night, JCM! :-)

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  142. Good night JCM!

    I'm going to close this one out - new thread upstairs, to take us up to fruitcup.

    ReplyDelete